Thursday, January 8, 2009

I vote no on proposition facial hair.

I refuse to accept any of this nonsense about mustaches being an acceptable thing to do with one's face. It's just not true. They are universally wrong. Why? Because you should have as few things on your face that can trap food and/or lint as humanly possible. Or spittle. I am on record as voting no on facial hair in all it's varied forms- from the ironic to the "if this (perhaps braided?) goat-tee was good enough for 1995, it is good enough for 2009" look. Dudes in the latter category also tend to have tribal tattoos and wear man-cullottes. Those, um, really seem to be the only categories. Well, that and Spencer Pratt.

Also, the last time I made an exception to this rule, I had to smear my face with Albolene every two hours for a week.

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