Thursday, May 7, 2009
I Am Not The Captain In Charge Of Male Virtue Protection
So, Elizabeth Edwards was on Oprah yesterday talking about John Edwards infidelity- I didn't see it, because I don't watch Oprah- but I saw this clip on Jez, wherein she basically puts all the blame on the woman he cheated on her with.
Isn't that always the way? Now, I can understand that she's pissed- but I'm so not down with this whole idea that women are supposed to be the sacred guardians of men's moral compasses or any shit like that. This totally reminds me of how I used to get in trouble in class for things the boys got away with. Double standards= ick. I'm sorry, but it's up to the person who made the commitment to uphold it, not someone who doesn't know your ass. Really, when the situation is turned around, it's not like people get all "Oh my god, how could he do that to another man! He's so evil! Evil evil evil! He's just scum!" about things- no, they're just like "Yeah, he was a dude. He wanted to get some. Big shocker." And even if he is blamed a little, he's hardly going to be villified to the degree a woman is. It's just not the same level of "evil." Evil in men is violence. In woman it's sexuality.
I think there are a couple reasons for this- things that go back to the Bible and Greek myths and all that other shit. I don't especially feel like going into them at this time- but there are a shit ton of stories involving vaginas being the fall of empires and such.
This is all kind of a sore-ish subject for me, to be honest. I'm pretty much on the verge of becoming a political lesbian- mostly because this whole "Oh, you're evil!"/ "Oh, I feel like such a bad person for liking you!" followed by the inevitable "Wow, hanging out with you has totally helped me find myself, and realize that what I really do want in life is the whole Horatio Alger/Norman Rockwell dream" thing is really starting to piss me the fuck off. Like, it's just not cute anymore. It's the same thing, over and over and over again. Blechh. I'm so not evil. I'm probably more fiercely devoted to my own moral code than anyone you could meet, so there.
I've also always attracted quite a bit of attention from men who are not exactly single. I have no interest in this, not because of any moral compunctions so much as they tend to be really annoying as people. Like, seriously, they tend to be looking for free therapy more often than not. Plus, I have no interest in the tales of your very delicate girlfriend whom you aren't exactly in love with but cannot bear to break the heart of by breaking up with her. Because she'd die without you. Ew. They just tend to think they're way more awesome than I think they are, and I find that irritating.
Funny story though, I'm far less suited for that sort of thing than one would think- mostly because I've got a mouth, balls of steel, and have a tendency towards vendettas. This one time, I'd been seeing this dude- did not know he had a girlfriend, but he did. Of two years. I thought I was probably too good for him to begin with, and I pretty much avoided him after that because he just wasn't worth the drama. Besides, I hate dishonesty. Still, dude wouldn't leave me alone- because he thought we were soulmates, and it was driving me up the damned wall.
SO... one day I see him out at this bar with his now fiancee (yeah, because by then they were totally engaged. Ha!), and I acted all super friendly and pretended I didn't know that they were together, and so I whipped out my cell phone and did this whole "Oh my gosh, you would not believe the messages this guy sends me! Hilarious! But seriously, I'm worried for my pet rabbit!" schtick right in front of him. And I promise you, the messages were rather special. I am hilarious. What else would I do? Protect him? Leave the bar? Go into a corner and feel awkward? Please. I have one rule- if someone in a room has to feel like shit, I'm going to make damn sure it isn't me.
Ok, I'm done kvetching. I leave you with my favorite song about affairs and whatnot:
Seriously, favorite thing ever.