Thursday, May 14, 2009

A quick thing I thought I would share...

So today, our cleaning lady at the store (who by the way, totally hates my guts- and also has a side business in renting "luxury porta-potties" that come with mints or something) gave me like, 87,000 compliments in a row about my shoes, my dress, my hair, the fact that when I sing along with the music she thinks I sound "like that Amy Winehouse" (which I do not) etc. "You dress for fun!" she tells me. Then she compliments me on "that walrus tooth [I] got hangin' round my neck." I tell her it's a cornuto and it's meant to ward off the evil eye, which people can give you when they dispense insincere compliments. It's hardly made of magic, I bought it at Forever 21, and ladies aren't even supposed to wear cornicelli (we've got that fig fist dealie, which, you know, is supposed to protect our fetuses or something.). Still, I thought it was kind of funny.

I have been accused, myriad times, of not being able to take a compliment. Although this does usually come from weird dudes that I don't want complimenting me in the first place. In general, they make me feel horribly awkward. Especially if they continue after I force myself to say "thank you." Maybe it's some weird ethnic consciousness thing where I think they are, in fact, giving me the evil eye. Maybe it's because I dole them out all day long ("Oh my god, I so love your bag!") that they just sound insincere to me.

Also, you should know that I have burned the crap out of my neck. Seriously. See, I did some unknowable and mysterious retarded thing to it last Monday, and I've been in serious pain for a week and a half. It's just ridiculous. I look like I have Tourette's, because like, every five seconds I twitch my neck and yell "Ow!" like I'm being stabbed. It's not terribly attractive. I've been trying to make it stop by spending every night with a heating pad wrapped around it like an ascot, and now the skin on my neck is in a world of hurt. Make it stop.

4 comments:

~sublimealice~ said...

i don't think you're being weird at all. it's suspect when someone who doesn't like you suddenly starts complimenting tons of things about you. i find in my life it means
a)they want something or b)they did something/are planning to do something really fucked up to me.
also i totally believe in things like amulets--they work more often than people give them credit for.

wolf biter said...

You burned your neck...so you put a heating pad on it? A bag of frozen peas will be much more soothing.

I am also a paisana, yet I have never heard of this "fig fist" thing. Please to explain?

Welcome to Chicago, Jillinois said...

Don't you ever think that things bought at Forver 21 aren't the MOST magic of magic.

Miss Robyn said...

Oh! I didn't burn my neck to begin with, I sprained it or did something else awful to it. I'm not sure.

The mano fico (fist fig thingy) is like a fist with the thumb going through the index finger and middle finger. It's supposed to look like a fig/vagina, but I'm pretty sure it looks like neither.