So today, our cleaning lady at the store (who by the way, totally hates my guts- and also has a side business in renting "luxury porta-potties" that come with mints or something) gave me like, 87,000 compliments in a row about my shoes, my dress, my hair, the fact that when I sing along with the music she thinks I sound "like that Amy Winehouse" (which I do not) etc. "You dress for fun!" she tells me. Then she compliments me on "that walrus tooth [I] got hangin' round my neck." I tell her it's a cornuto and it's meant to ward off the evil eye, which people can give you when they dispense insincere compliments. It's hardly made of magic, I bought it at Forever 21, and ladies aren't even supposed to wear cornicelli (we've got that fig fist dealie, which, you know, is supposed to protect our fetuses or something.). Still, I thought it was kind of funny.
I have been accused, myriad times, of not being able to take a compliment. Although this does usually come from weird dudes that I don't want complimenting me in the first place. In general, they make me feel horribly awkward. Especially if they continue after I force myself to say "thank you." Maybe it's some weird ethnic consciousness thing where I think they are, in fact, giving me the evil eye. Maybe it's because I dole them out all day long ("Oh my god, I so love your bag!") that they just sound insincere to me.
Also, you should know that I have burned the crap out of my neck. Seriously. See, I did some unknowable and mysterious retarded thing to it last Monday, and I've been in serious pain for a week and a half. It's just ridiculous. I look like I have Tourette's, because like, every five seconds I twitch my neck and yell "Ow!" like I'm being stabbed. It's not terribly attractive. I've been trying to make it stop by spending every night with a heating pad wrapped around it like an ascot, and now the skin on my neck is in a world of hurt. Make it stop.