Thursday, May 21, 2009

Varied and Sundry

  • You know what's weird? When you run into a guy you had a crush on a long time ago, but never dated because like, say he was dating someone else at the time and also his friend thought you were his soulmate, and like, for whatever reason he's no longer dishy, but you're still kind of into it.
  • I take issue with people for not liking tomatoes. I take an inordinate personal offense to it for some reason. I have no idea why this is. I get all flabbergasted and shocked and all "HOW CAN YOU NOT LIKE TOMATOES! THEY ARE MORE DELICIOUS THAN ANYTHING!" about it. I should probably relax about it.
  • Ok, so we were smoking outside the Double Door tonight, and I see a grown ass (but rather short) woman walk by clutching a stuffed dog into her neck. She wasn't crazy. I know crazy when I'm looking at it. You know she thought she was fucking adorable. I hate adults who think they're adorable. It bothers me more than disliking tomatoes, even. I'm convinced that cutesy people are absolutely psychotic on the inside.
  • Why do people think I care about whether or not they made it to the gym that day? Like, I realize I work in retail, and that it's a cross I must bear- but really- what is the damn point? Are they bragging about how hot and disciplined they are? Are they apologizing for not being hot and disciplined enough? What in god's name is my response supposed to be other than "Oh."? It's officially the least interesting conversation ever. Seriously, it's like talking about flossing your teeth, or washing the dishes. Unless you fell off a treadmilll, it can't possibly be all that fascinating.
  • Another thing I'm bothered by? Ok, so we have this t-shirt at the store, see? :

Why on God's Green earth would anyone want to be referred to as being "Corn-Fed?" Isn't that an insult? According to the Wikipedia, corn-fed means means: an individual who is strong and healthy, but lacks sophistication, typically an overweight girl or woman from the Midwestern United States. The comparison is to cattle or beasts of burden." WHO WOULD SIGN UP FOR THAT DESCRIPTOR? Also, another thing about this shirt- you know who purchases it? Middle aged women, who are clearly not "girls." I have a zero tolerance policy on neoteny, as previously stated in this post. The whole thing is just bizarre. Some people just have shame in all the wrong places.

2 comments:

wolf biter said...

Why do people think I care about whether or not they made it to the gym that day?Right with you on that. Yes, I can see you work out, I am not blind. 21-year-old boys are the worst about this.

Miss Robyn said...

It always sort of reminds me of those milk commercials that used to be on when I was a kid- you know the ones "I look like THIS now, but if I keep drinking milk, one day I'm going to grow up and look like this!" You know, like they're promising me that they're going to be hotter soon or something. Like I care, I'm just trying to sell you $300 dollar pants.