Helen Thomas gives up her seat
Because they were all like "Uh, Helen- we have TV now. Americans don't *have* to read anymore, k? And we're like totally getting tired of you constantly asking questions and stuff. Like, you're always all Debbie Downer and shit, ok?" And then Helen was all like "Whatever, I don't need you bitches. All the smart people know I'm better than you any way." and they're like "Yeah, whatever, like we care- they're nerds, hello! Besides, Fox News' parents are like, way rich and totally don't care if we do beer bongs in the backyard."
Yeah, so basically, they're making Helen Thomas give up her permanent seat, so someone from some cable news program (which, lets be honest, will more than likely be FOX NEWS instead of CNN. Which, on a rare occasion, airs actual news) so we can all hear more questions like "So, uh, isn't it super great how super great the war in Iraq is going?" and "Uh, so like, who does your hair?" and "What do you think about Anna Nicole's untimely demise- ooh, and who do you think the baby daddy is?"