Maltese Falcon Actually Stolen
Do you think they have a private detective working on this case? I kind of hope so. And I hope it's some world-weary guy who wears a trenchcoat, and chainsmokes and talksh like thish. Because I would totally marry him. Or, possibly whoever stole the Falcon in the first place- because damn, is that bad ass or what? Unless it was Mary Astor. I don't think I'd marry her. Or Bebe Daniels. Possibly Bette Davis, though (the Bette Davis movie "Satan Met a Lady" was based on The Maltese Falcon, and her character, Valerie Purvis, was supposed to be Brigid O'Shaughnessy). Because Miss Davis and I are totally soul sisters.
In case you don't know, I have this thing where I have always secretly wanted to be a femme fatale who attempts to foil a hard-boiled private detective. I watch a lot of film noir, I can't help it. Also, I really, really want someone to knock on my door and ask me if I'm decent, whereupon I flip my long, flowing hair back like I'm some kind of coquette and say "Sure... I'm decent." In case you have no idea what I'm talking about, that's what Rita Hayworth does in the movie "Gilda." I actually have a whole list of things I want to do that occur in movies that involve me being far more glamourous and smooth than I actually am. It sort of breaks my heart a little every day to know that I will never be described as being Garbo-esque. Alas, we all have our crosses to bear.