Tuesday, August 12, 2008

I wonder if McCain has a pickled Abba turd hidden away somewhere...

I'm totally serious, I think he does. Blender gets Obama and McCain to list their favorite songs (with comments on the site from Girl Talk and my boyfriend Randy Newman)

JOHN McCAIN
1. Dancing Queen - ABBA (Do you know what this does to my head? All I can picture is John McCain's head on Toni Collette's body, just twirling and twirling around in a room filled with pictures of ABBA.)
2. Blue Bayou - Roy Orbison (Eh. It's a good song. I have nothing bad to say)
3. Take a Chance On Me - ABBA ("Now that I'm running for president, my life's just as good as an ABBA song!")
4. If We Make It Through December - Merle Haggard (Would have been so much more awesome if it was "Hello Darlin')
5. As Time Goes By - Dooley Wilson (Whatever, John McCain. I bet you don't have a Humphrey Bogart action figure. Which I totally do.)
6. Good Vibrations - The Beach Boys (I don't like having things in common with you, John McCain)
7. What A Wonderful World - Louis Armstrong (Blah, blah, blah...)
8. I've Got You Under My Skin - Frank Sinatra (Easy)
9. Sweet Caroline - Neil Diamond (Going for the fratboy vote... but does he know that it was written about Caroline Kennedy?)
10. Smoke Gets In Your Eyes - The Platters (Really? The Platters version? You must be kidding me. Dinah Washington's rendition is far superior.)

BARACK OBAMA
1. Ready or Not- Fugees
2. What's Going On- Marvin Gaye
3. I'm On Fire Bruce- Spingsteen
4. Gimme Shelter- Rolling Stones
5. Sinnerman- Nina Simone
6. Touch the Sky- Kanye West
7. You'd Be So Easy to Love- Frank Sinatra
8. Think- Aretha Franklin
9. City of Blinding Lights- U2
10. Yes We Can- will.i.am

Good lord. I get it. It's not even worth multiple comments. You're totally inspirational, Barack Obama! Wow! Oh, and way to pick a song about yourself. It kills me that you are just so that guy. I'll bet anything that your yearbook quote was the whole Robert Frost thing about the stupid roads diverged in the woods. You totally remind me of this guy I dated when I was 17 who told me that my karmic path had led me to him for enlightenment. Because he was totally deep and wrote poetry, and I was a failure at life for liking "Breakfast at Tiffany's." That guy was an asshat. Don't be that guy.

No comments: