Saturday, August 9, 2008

Sometimes nothing can be a real cool hand to play

Oh my god... I just read that Paul Newman may only have a few weeks to live! How devastating! I will totally cry- in fact, I might cry now. You never know- read the previous post, I'm in that sort of mood. I totally love him. He's basically the reason I'm perpetually single. Not like, because I'm holding out for him, but because when compared to Paul Newman, every dude out there is just worlds and worlds of terrible. No one can beat him. I mean, your standards are going totally different if you had a crush on him as a kid as opposed to John Cusack or something. Any idiot can pull of stalking and moping and being "conflicted." It doesn't require much effort or intelligence- and if that impresses you, you've got quite the plethora of douchetastic asshats to pick from. But to be like, simultaneously retardedly hot, and tough as shit, and into saving the world... the man is the worlds greatest argument in favor of cloning, and the reason for the word dreamy. He can make organic salad dressing, rank 19th on Nixon's enemy list, race cars, ooze class and sex from every pore, and kick your ass to a bloody pulp. Paul Newman is what my parents refer to as a "stand up guy." Outside of my father and two of my uncles, and this one kid in elementary school who used to stick up for me when I was getting picked on, I have never known another specimen.


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