And what did we learn from this?

Once upon a time, when I was a girl of 11 standing in the girl's room at school, my arch-nemesis, in a moment of magnamity, informed me that because I was "pretty," if I were to just tight roll my pants, wear Champion sweatshirts, and stop being peculiar, people would stop tormenting me and I could maybe even (gasp!) be popular.

I did not take her up on her offer. Why? For a lot of reasons, really. For one, I knew that there would always be something else. There would always be something I had to change about myself, or do like everyone else in order to "fit in." I didn't want to sign up for that.

For another, quite frankly, I thought the people who picked on me were assholes, and did not give a good goddamn whether or not they liked me. I truly didn't. It did not phase me in the least. I've never had the "I only want to belong to clubs that don't want me as a member" complex- if people don't like me, I merely assume they have poor taste, and why should I want to be around people with poor taste anyway? I have a lot more confidence and trust in people who like me than in those that do not. And I'm going to care about them, and have their backs, long before I start giving a shit about the people who don't.

Which is why I think bipartisanism is total bullshit. Obama removed birth control from the stimulus package... and yet, not a single Republican voted for it. BUT... it still passed- which means it would have still passed if the provision for birth control had been left in. What does this tell you?

Now, when Bush was in office, I never heard a damn word about anything in any bills being thrown in or thrown out to appease progressives. Not one. They did all they could to swing this country as close to facism as they could get it, and not once did I hear anything about "bipartisanship."

Obama... there are people in the world who just are not going to like you. It's not you, it's them. Nothing you can possibly do will change their minds, and if you scratch their backs, they will turn around and claw off your face. But guess what? You don't need them. Anyone whose ass you have to kiss in order to garner their approval will never really like you anyway. You make the people who already like you happy, and you've got people who will be loyal to you for life. You throw the people who already like you down the stairs to get attention from the popular kids, and eventually you've got no one.

Still not drinking any kool-aid...

Ok, so I've read the articles about Obama still planning to repeal the global gag rule (but just not on the anniversary of Roe v. Wade because it was a "sensitive" day for anti-choicers.). And still, I am pissed. And not quite sure I believe him.

I have a basic distrust of people who think that way. I also get insanely bothered when politicians say they're for civil unions, but not same sex-marriage because people with weird prejudices just aren't "ready" for it. It goes right up my spine. Also, reading a thing where some dude talks about how Jan 22nd is the day of a "very hurtful decision" makes my face burn up into flames.

Yes. It is in fact very, very important that something like this, something that endangers the lives of women across the world, be repealed immediately. It is not just some willy nilly fluff thing that doesn't affect millions of women every day. It's much more important than protecting backwards people from feeling "upset." The reason I don't believe him when he talks about "change" is because of things like this- because there is no way there can be progressive change without ever offending regressive people, which seems to be what he is attempting to do with these "baby steps." Baby steps? What is this? What About Bob?

I keep hearing a lot about how "women's issues" are going to have to be put on the backburner for a while until the economy is sorted out. Which I guess is the Democrat version of "Feminism is a 'soft' issue for middle class white women! We're fighting the class war! But don't worry, we'll totally get back to your shit after the revolution! Wanna do me at the hostel after the WTO protest?" "Women's issues" get put on the backburner because we are supposed to be patient. We are supposed to be understanding. We are supposed to put the needs of others before our own. Because we have vaginas.

Truth is- things that affect women will always be on the backburner- not because they aren't as important as other issues, but because we are not considered to be as important. I think it's very convenient for the patriarchy to think of us as being patient, and understanding, and always willing to put the needs of others before our own, as these are code words for "will take some shit." Am I wrong? When was the last time someone asked you to be any of these things, and was not trying to put one over on you?

That old familiar feeling... (or, Pretty Words Make You Reagan)

You know how sometimes your gut tells you a guy is full of shit or an asshole or whatever at first... and then he says all these nice things that he probably knows you want to hear, talks about how he's so, so hip to that feminist thing you've got going on and you start to think "Wow! Maybe I was wrong! Maybe I'm just too cynical, and maybe he doesn't suck at life after all! I should give him a chance!" and then not two seconds later he comes at you with a jugular thrashing load of asshattery which he then tries to cover up with more nicety nice words which you now realize are as bullshitty as you thought they were in the first place? (see around 45% of my relations with dudes, particularly during my early years of Ice Queenery.)

Well, that's kind of how I feel about Obama today. This morning when I read that he was supposed to repeal the global gag rule, I chastised myself for the lingering feeling I had that he was not actually going to do anything other than talk about his hopes and dreams. But while he did have the time to write and release this statement about the anniversary of Roe vs. Wade, which is very pretty and nice... he did not in fact repeal the Global Gag Rule (as Bill Clinton had, and as he was rumored to be planning on doing- also, Bush put it back into effect on Jan. 22nd his first year in office. It's a tradition for godsakes!).

I CALL SHENANNIGANS!

Do not get all "I'm down for the cause" with me, Mister, until you actually do some shit. The global gag rule is insane and dangerous for women all over the world- so do not go around talking about my having no limits on my "dreams" until it is repealed. What that says to me, is that while I am more than free to "dream" about human rights and women across the world not being forced to have babies or getting the healthcare they need... that these things are not going to happen in reality. Which does not do much for me.

Words are lovely things- I use them often, and rely on them just as much as the next person for the majority of my day to day communication. But at the end of the day, existence precedes essence- dig? Show, don't tell. I don't want your letter, I don't want your words, I don't want your hopes or your dreams-- I want your signature on that damned piece of paper. And *then* we can talk. Ok?

I probably could have guessed this.

According to information released by The Windy City Times, Obama was for same-sex marriage before he was against it (or, you know, favored "civil unions"- same damn thing). I think it's shitty, but I'm not exactly shocked.

People keep forgetting that he is in fact a politician, a sector of the population that tends to change their opinions based on what is going to get them elected. Part of what got him elected was convincing people in the middle that he was not a scary radical, with a "but really, you totally know I'm one of you" wink and nod to progressives. He's a blank enough slate that people feel comfortable ascribing their own moral code and opinions to him, without him ever having to say a word about it.

The way I look at it is this- if he actually does anything awesome, like support gay marriage, or give the funding back to overseas womens health clinics who provide abortions and birth control... then great. If he doesn't, I won't be shocked. Dude is, after all, a politician.

I wonder if McCain has a pickled Abba turd hidden away somewhere...

I'm totally serious, I think he does. Blender gets Obama and McCain to list their favorite songs (with comments on the site from Girl Talk and my boyfriend Randy Newman)

JOHN McCAIN
1. Dancing Queen - ABBA (Do you know what this does to my head? All I can picture is John McCain's head on Toni Collette's body, just twirling and twirling around in a room filled with pictures of ABBA.)
2. Blue Bayou - Roy Orbison (Eh. It's a good song. I have nothing bad to say)
3. Take a Chance On Me - ABBA ("Now that I'm running for president, my life's just as good as an ABBA song!")
4. If We Make It Through December - Merle Haggard (Would have been so much more awesome if it was "Hello Darlin')
5. As Time Goes By - Dooley Wilson (Whatever, John McCain. I bet you don't have a Humphrey Bogart action figure. Which I totally do.)
6. Good Vibrations - The Beach Boys (I don't like having things in common with you, John McCain)
7. What A Wonderful World - Louis Armstrong (Blah, blah, blah...)
8. I've Got You Under My Skin - Frank Sinatra (Easy)
9. Sweet Caroline - Neil Diamond (Going for the fratboy vote... but does he know that it was written about Caroline Kennedy?)
10. Smoke Gets In Your Eyes - The Platters (Really? The Platters version? You must be kidding me. Dinah Washington's rendition is far superior.)

BARACK OBAMA
1. Ready or Not- Fugees
2. What's Going On- Marvin Gaye
3. I'm On Fire Bruce- Spingsteen
4. Gimme Shelter- Rolling Stones
5. Sinnerman- Nina Simone
6. Touch the Sky- Kanye West
7. You'd Be So Easy to Love- Frank Sinatra
8. Think- Aretha Franklin
9. City of Blinding Lights- U2
10. Yes We Can- will.i.am

Good lord. I get it. It's not even worth multiple comments. You're totally inspirational, Barack Obama! Wow! Oh, and way to pick a song about yourself. It kills me that you are just so that guy. I'll bet anything that your yearbook quote was the whole Robert Frost thing about the stupid roads diverged in the woods. You totally remind me of this guy I dated when I was 17 who told me that my karmic path had led me to him for enlightenment. Because he was totally deep and wrote poetry, and I was a failure at life for liking "Breakfast at Tiffany's." That guy was an asshat. Don't be that guy.