Saturday, November 29, 2008

My, how the world still dearly loves a scarlet letter

Ok, so Washingtonienne blogger Jessica Cutler announced recently that she got engaged- so there's been a bunch of shit being thrown around at various blogs from people who do not know her, but are firmly convinced that she does not deserve to be happy with her new fiance because they primly disapprove of her past. Which, frankly, is pretty lame.

Like I've said before, I totally love it when the bad girls win. It gives me a bit of satisfaction after all those years as a kid hoping The Misfits would beat the shit out of Jem and The Holograms in at least one Battle of The Bands episode. But what got me thinking today was the fact that on a Jezebel post about how, well, everyone deserves to be happy, a lot of women not-so-repectfully disagreed. A running line seems to be that a woman who sleeps with a married man is just as guilty as he is, and I've been hearing this a lot lately- but it's his obligation, not hers.

You know, honestly, I think they have a much better chance of being happy than most people out there. I really do. Let me tell you why: I don't think she's someone who would be with someone just to be with someone. And he's obviously someone who doesn't give a damn about what other people think. Which is bad ass. I think it says a lot about both of them.

I think a lot of the bitterness comes from people who are really into rules and shit, and try to follow them, and then hate to see good things happen to people who don't. I mean, seriously- look at this comment on Gawker:

"Ya know the hilarious thing? We tut, we tsk, but in fact the takeaway message is, "Yes, ladies, you really can have sex with famous people for money
and then find that certain special someone to sweep you off your feet."
As in, whatever the fuck we "normal" people have been doing, clearly we've been doing it wrong."

Honestly- what the hell is wrong with that, really? Who says you have to do things the "normal" way in order to be happy? In any case, the thing that really bothers me is that I can in no way fathom the same comments coming into play if she was a he. Can you? No, because women are held to different standards than men are. Granted this is on a somewhat larger scale than the usual oats sowing, but still...

We are a society obsessed with ritual and reward and penance. If you do things in the prescribed way- even if it's not necessarily what you'd really like to do, and it probably isn't- you get rewarded with "happiness." A very specific type of happiness that comes with a house in the 'burbs, 2.5 kids, a minivan, and once a month "lie back and think of England" sex, and a smug feeling of self-righteousness because you did what you were supposed to do the way you were supposed to do it. And if the people who don't do it that way are appropriately punished, then you can feel comfortable, knowing it was all worthwhile, because at least those people are worse off than you are. But if they get to go and be happy- maybe even happier than you, well, that's just going to drive you up the damned wall now isn't it? Well, suck it up. I wish absolutely the best of luck to those people I don't know.

Someone Forget to Tell Jessica Cutler She's Not Allowed To Be Happy?


Jessica Cutler is engaged

Jessica Cutler
is engaged

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