Cardinal Says New Feminism Must Include God
FACT- When you have a penis, and are a representative of a notoriously patriarchal and sexist institution, such as the Catholic Church, you don't have any say in what "the new feminism" will be. Especially when this "new feminism" involves being anti-choice and homophobic- which, ya know, are two things that feminism is pretty specifically not about being.
How would you like it if I, as an athiest, decided that the new Catholicism was going to be about worshipping Buddha and eating meat on Fridays? It would be ridiculous, because it's not something I have any say in. Duh.
Now, I am totally of the "everyone can and should be a feminist" school of thought. My dad is totally a feminist and also a Catholic (although he belongs to a church that was ex-communicated for allowing women on the pulpit and performing gay marriages/commitment ceremonies. Also, he's pro-choice.). However, he doesn't go around telling women what feminism is or should be about. For heaven's sake, I don't even like other feminists telling me what feminism is supposed to be about!
I am all for the Catholic Church advocating for women's rights. I think that's awesome. I hope that some day they get with the times and allow women on the pulpit. But at the end of the day, the Catholic Church, as an entity, does not get any say in what feminism is or is not.
Showing posts with label The Opposite of Feminism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Opposite of Feminism. Show all posts
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
Isn't this what we had a third wave for?
I just read this article in the Guardian about political lesbianism- or rather, the idea of women "becoming" lesbians as a feminist statement.
Um.... No.
I call shennanigans. For one, um... that is one choice you don't choose. If we say that women can magically become lesbians to fight the patriarchy or whatever, than we give credence to religious weirdos who think they can turn gay people straight with a dash of holy water. It just doesn't work like that. For another- didn't we get over that shit when the third wave happened? My mom stopped going to a lot of feminist meetings because she got a bunch of shit for being a "breeder" because she was married to my dad (who happens to be awesomely feminist). The reason for my mother's feminism in the first place was because she didn't take kindly to people telling her what to do or how to be, so that just didn't sit well. Also, I think men are perfectly capable of being feminist, and in fact expect them to be. Or else. But how will they become more feminist if we go off into the wilderness to hold potlucks and sing Joni Mitchell or whatever?
I, obviously, think it's swell that my mom was a "breeder"- and not just because I wouldn't exist if she wasn't. She raised me as a feminist, she raised me as a woman who would never even consider that she was inferior for even a second, she raised me to be smart and funny and to not take any shit, she raised me to understand gender socialization, and to know that Barbie was not an accurate representation of what a woman should look like. I consider myself especially lucky in this aspect of my life. She also helped my dad, who came from an insanely chauvinistic culture, understand feminism, and become a feminist himself. He went on to help create diversity training programs for companies like his own that are still used today. What's more awesome than that? That is feminism in action.
If feminists retreat from the system, feminism will never *be* the system. And it should be. This sort of "we'll just take our toys and go home" feminism is totally unhelpful, and assuming that all men are out to get you is prejudicial and also, um, crappy. How can we expect men to be feminist, and to reject male privilege if we go off on our own, ignore them and refuse to tell them what that even entails?
Um.... No.
I call shennanigans. For one, um... that is one choice you don't choose. If we say that women can magically become lesbians to fight the patriarchy or whatever, than we give credence to religious weirdos who think they can turn gay people straight with a dash of holy water. It just doesn't work like that. For another- didn't we get over that shit when the third wave happened? My mom stopped going to a lot of feminist meetings because she got a bunch of shit for being a "breeder" because she was married to my dad (who happens to be awesomely feminist). The reason for my mother's feminism in the first place was because she didn't take kindly to people telling her what to do or how to be, so that just didn't sit well. Also, I think men are perfectly capable of being feminist, and in fact expect them to be. Or else. But how will they become more feminist if we go off into the wilderness to hold potlucks and sing Joni Mitchell or whatever?
I, obviously, think it's swell that my mom was a "breeder"- and not just because I wouldn't exist if she wasn't. She raised me as a feminist, she raised me as a woman who would never even consider that she was inferior for even a second, she raised me to be smart and funny and to not take any shit, she raised me to understand gender socialization, and to know that Barbie was not an accurate representation of what a woman should look like. I consider myself especially lucky in this aspect of my life. She also helped my dad, who came from an insanely chauvinistic culture, understand feminism, and become a feminist himself. He went on to help create diversity training programs for companies like his own that are still used today. What's more awesome than that? That is feminism in action.
If feminists retreat from the system, feminism will never *be* the system. And it should be. This sort of "we'll just take our toys and go home" feminism is totally unhelpful, and assuming that all men are out to get you is prejudicial and also, um, crappy. How can we expect men to be feminist, and to reject male privilege if we go off on our own, ignore them and refuse to tell them what that even entails?
Thursday, January 22, 2009
That old familiar feeling... (or, Pretty Words Make You Reagan)
You know how sometimes your gut tells you a guy is full of shit or an asshole or whatever at first... and then he says all these nice things that he probably knows you want to hear, talks about how he's so, so hip to that feminist thing you've got going on and you start to think "Wow! Maybe I was wrong! Maybe I'm just too cynical, and maybe he doesn't suck at life after all! I should give him a chance!" and then not two seconds later he comes at you with a jugular thrashing load of asshattery which he then tries to cover up with more nicety nice words which you now realize are as bullshitty as you thought they were in the first place? (see around 45% of my relations with dudes, particularly during my early years of Ice Queenery.)
Well, that's kind of how I feel about Obama today. This morning when I read that he was supposed to repeal the global gag rule, I chastised myself for the lingering feeling I had that he was not actually going to do anything other than talk about his hopes and dreams. But while he did have the time to write and release this statement about the anniversary of Roe vs. Wade, which is very pretty and nice... he did not in fact repeal the Global Gag Rule (as Bill Clinton had, and as he was rumored to be planning on doing- also, Bush put it back into effect on Jan. 22nd his first year in office. It's a tradition for godsakes!).
I CALL SHENANNIGANS!
Do not get all "I'm down for the cause" with me, Mister, until you actually do some shit. The global gag rule is insane and dangerous for women all over the world- so do not go around talking about my having no limits on my "dreams" until it is repealed. What that says to me, is that while I am more than free to "dream" about human rights and women across the world not being forced to have babies or getting the healthcare they need... that these things are not going to happen in reality. Which does not do much for me.
Words are lovely things- I use them often, and rely on them just as much as the next person for the majority of my day to day communication. But at the end of the day, existence precedes essence- dig? Show, don't tell. I don't want your letter, I don't want your words, I don't want your hopes or your dreams-- I want your signature on that damned piece of paper. And *then* we can talk. Ok?
Well, that's kind of how I feel about Obama today. This morning when I read that he was supposed to repeal the global gag rule, I chastised myself for the lingering feeling I had that he was not actually going to do anything other than talk about his hopes and dreams. But while he did have the time to write and release this statement about the anniversary of Roe vs. Wade, which is very pretty and nice... he did not in fact repeal the Global Gag Rule (as Bill Clinton had, and as he was rumored to be planning on doing- also, Bush put it back into effect on Jan. 22nd his first year in office. It's a tradition for godsakes!).
I CALL SHENANNIGANS!
Do not get all "I'm down for the cause" with me, Mister, until you actually do some shit. The global gag rule is insane and dangerous for women all over the world- so do not go around talking about my having no limits on my "dreams" until it is repealed. What that says to me, is that while I am more than free to "dream" about human rights and women across the world not being forced to have babies or getting the healthcare they need... that these things are not going to happen in reality. Which does not do much for me.
Words are lovely things- I use them often, and rely on them just as much as the next person for the majority of my day to day communication. But at the end of the day, existence precedes essence- dig? Show, don't tell. I don't want your letter, I don't want your words, I don't want your hopes or your dreams-- I want your signature on that damned piece of paper. And *then* we can talk. Ok?
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
No excuse for poor taste
Sunday night was the premiere of VH1's "Tool Academy." Now, the gist of this show is that chicks take their douchey boyfriends on it so that they may be boot camped into awesome boyfriends. And it was the most disturbing thing I have ever witnessed.
The thing is, it's not the "tools" that disturbed us. We've been well aware of their existence for some years now. It was the girlfriends that made us cringe. Primarily the fact that they remained in the damn room while they saw video footage of their supposed boyfriends talking about how they have them "well-trained" and the vast number of other ladies they are doing every week. That was the shocking part. They're the ones that need the therapy! People are free to be douchebags, ya know, but you don't have to hang around with them. Ugh, and the women were like, blaming themselves for not being attractive enough. I could just die. That would be the day!
Oh, and some of them were saying "I feel like he doesn't plan on marrying me!" Ew. Um, thank heaven for small favors.
I've been harping on this for two days now. I feel like I was raised with such a strong sense of "sisterhood" or whatever, from my mom, that every time I see a woman act like an idiot, a little part of me dies.
The thing is, it's not the "tools" that disturbed us. We've been well aware of their existence for some years now. It was the girlfriends that made us cringe. Primarily the fact that they remained in the damn room while they saw video footage of their supposed boyfriends talking about how they have them "well-trained" and the vast number of other ladies they are doing every week. That was the shocking part. They're the ones that need the therapy! People are free to be douchebags, ya know, but you don't have to hang around with them. Ugh, and the women were like, blaming themselves for not being attractive enough. I could just die. That would be the day!
Oh, and some of them were saying "I feel like he doesn't plan on marrying me!" Ew. Um, thank heaven for small favors.
I've been harping on this for two days now. I feel like I was raised with such a strong sense of "sisterhood" or whatever, from my mom, that every time I see a woman act like an idiot, a little part of me dies.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Just not into douchebags and cattyness. Sorry.
Ok, so, everytime I turn on the TV, I see one of two movie previews that make me throw things at it- "Bride Wars" and "He's Just Not That Into You."
Sheesh. What is this? "Women Are Totally Pathetic Month?" Ew. Let's get back to reality.
As a woman, complete with all the necessary secondary sex characteristics, I have never done any of the following:
1. Daydreamed about a wedding. Except when I was like 15 and thought having an Elvis Impersonator officiate would be totally bad ass.
2. Had an all out battle with my best friend over anything as silly as a wedding. I can't even imagine it. I love my friends. And, you know, if something is more important to them than it is to me, they can have it, and vice versa. I don't soak dishes in the sink for too long because it bothers Jen, and she doesn't put my ketchup in the refrigerator because I think cold ketchup is freakish and unnatural. Life is all about compromise.
3. Waited by the phone for a dude to call me.
4. Chased after any dude, ever.
I have a lot of pride, and so do my girlfriends. So when I see previews for movies like this- not only is it totally foreign, but it's also insulting. Let me tell you, I never get so duly offended as when some schlub insinuates that I'm in any way trying to scoop him up and push him into a committed relationship. Let me tell you, if you want me to never speak to you again (after giving you a "what the hell makes you think you're so fantastic?" speech and a lesson in existentialism, of course), this is the way to do it. And it's movies like these that make them think that this is the way we operate.
That being said, despite the "all star cast" and the fact that the book was popular- I have a feeling that "He's Just Not That Into You" is going to do kind of poorly at the box office. I just can't see women paying money to see the Mac Guy tell them that they're pathetic. He can talk after he gets a decent haircut, mmkay?
Sheesh. What is this? "Women Are Totally Pathetic Month?" Ew. Let's get back to reality.
As a woman, complete with all the necessary secondary sex characteristics, I have never done any of the following:
1. Daydreamed about a wedding. Except when I was like 15 and thought having an Elvis Impersonator officiate would be totally bad ass.
2. Had an all out battle with my best friend over anything as silly as a wedding. I can't even imagine it. I love my friends. And, you know, if something is more important to them than it is to me, they can have it, and vice versa. I don't soak dishes in the sink for too long because it bothers Jen, and she doesn't put my ketchup in the refrigerator because I think cold ketchup is freakish and unnatural. Life is all about compromise.
3. Waited by the phone for a dude to call me.
4. Chased after any dude, ever.
I have a lot of pride, and so do my girlfriends. So when I see previews for movies like this- not only is it totally foreign, but it's also insulting. Let me tell you, I never get so duly offended as when some schlub insinuates that I'm in any way trying to scoop him up and push him into a committed relationship. Let me tell you, if you want me to never speak to you again (after giving you a "what the hell makes you think you're so fantastic?" speech and a lesson in existentialism, of course), this is the way to do it. And it's movies like these that make them think that this is the way we operate.
That being said, despite the "all star cast" and the fact that the book was popular- I have a feeling that "He's Just Not That Into You" is going to do kind of poorly at the box office. I just can't see women paying money to see the Mac Guy tell them that they're pathetic. He can talk after he gets a decent haircut, mmkay?
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