Monday, July 21, 2008

Stop the insanity!

Ok.... I have seen like, 50 pairs of these damn shorts lately. Stop it. Now. If you own a pair, burn them. They are seriously the most horrifying things I have ever seen in my life. They are sneaking into my dreams at night and giving me nightmares. I cannot begin to comprehend why anyone would think these are in any way a good idea- it's like, taking a horrible idea (cargo shorts. I'm sorry, they will never, ever be acceptable outside of a camping environment), and making it 80,000 times worse. STOP IT. If you own a pair, burn them.

Also, yesterday I witnessed a couple wearing matching salmon colored shirts and cargo pants and toting around a screeching baby. It's just wrong. What were they doing here? Why weren't they in the suburbs. Suburbs exist for this exact purpose. I live in the city, because I find it preferable to avoid people wearing matching outfits and toting around screaming babies. The stroller derby is totes starting to invade my neighborhood, and I can't say I'm happy about it. Once a neighborhood has been deemed safe for yuppies and their double wide strollers, it is no longer safe for people interested in living in areas that don't totally suck.

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