Andy Wang is totally my soulmate. It's true. I don't actually know him, but I found his name tag last week when I went to Hub 51 with the ladies from work for a birthday celebration (by the way- best motherfucking carrot cake ever. In the history of carrot cake. And I don't even normally like carrot cake all that much! In fact, I'd say it's the best cake ever period.). Being a festive lady, I decided to wear it for the rest of the evening, thus causing much ado over the fact that people who did not know me or Mr. Wang were still pretty sure that I was not in fact... Andy Wang. Which I totally could have been. Andy can be a girls name (like in Pretty in Pink), and I could totally be married to a guy with that last name. Or I could be an Asian man in disguise, like, uh, that song "Secret Asian Man." You never know.
Anyway, finding the nametag was totally the highlight of the evening. The next night I went to The Old Town Ale House for a Jezzie meet-up in honor of the naked painting of Sarah Palin (I totally have the shirt now), and while searching for cigarettes in my bag, found the name tag again. I put it on in hopes of having even more nametag related fun and frivolity. Which I totally did, because the best way to make new awesome friends is to wear the name tag of someone you clearly are not. Especially when your particular measurements cause any and all nametags to look patently hilarious on you.
But this is the best part! This guy comes up to me and says "You're not Andy Wang!" And I say "How do you know, because I totally could be." and he says "No, you're not. I know Andy, he works for me!" Which, I was totally enthralled by, as was the rest of the bar. And so we actually tried to call him from there but he was on his way back to NYC on a plane. So sad. But I think someday I will run into him again, and I will give him back his name tag and we will fall in love. Probably not. But how funny would that be?
Showing posts with label Sarah Palin. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sarah Palin. Show all posts
Monday, October 27, 2008
Daylight savings time...
When I woke up this morning, brutally hungover and still in my Sarah Palin costume from last night (and by the way, the show went fantastically well, please and thank you), I thought daylight savings time had already happened. Or at least my vcr did. It randomly changed times last night (it psychically adjusts itself in accordance with DST) and read 7:30am, while my alarm clock read 8:52 and my cell phone was at 8:30. I'm going with the cell phone, because my computer says the same thing. I'd be awfully sad if I missed Daylight Savings Time, as it is without question my favorite holiday.
See, I believe that during that one extra "fall back" hour, it's sort of like you get to go back in time and correct any shit you may have fucked up since the last fall DST. This belief is somewhat informed by the ridiculously brilliant cable television program of my youth, "The Adventures of Pete and Pete." In case you don't know what I'm talking about, I have decided to post the whole episode here- which by the way features a cameo by broadway actress Ellen Greene (Audrey in Little Shop of Horrors).
See, I believe that during that one extra "fall back" hour, it's sort of like you get to go back in time and correct any shit you may have fucked up since the last fall DST. This belief is somewhat informed by the ridiculously brilliant cable television program of my youth, "The Adventures of Pete and Pete." In case you don't know what I'm talking about, I have decided to post the whole episode here- which by the way features a cameo by broadway actress Ellen Greene (Audrey in Little Shop of Horrors).
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Aggravated vaguery
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Ok, first of all- I'd just like to say that while I don't believe I am the arbiter of deciding who is and who is not a feminist- I do believe that existence precedes essence, which means you can't go around disagreeing with every single basic principle of feminism and then declare yourself to be one. While there are many differing views within the feminist community, I'd have to say that there are some guiding principles we can all agree on. Choice being one of them- pretty much the big one. It's like me saying I'm a Zoroastrian or part of some other belief system I know nothing about.
With that said... who the hell can't name one newspaper or magazine? Really- there are people out there that have never read one in their lives that can at least name a few. How is this even possible? Is she just committed to not answering any question with anything specific whatsoever so it doesn't sound as weird when she won't answer real questions, like, you know, should it be illegal for a rape or incest victim to get an abortion? It's not exactly a hard hitting question. Man, I wonder how she'd stand up under the pressure if asked which Darren she preferred on Bewitched (The answer, of course being "Did you know that I go hunting? Because I do. I kill things. Often.").
Also, just to add, homosexuality is not a choice. Duh.
Nothing in the whole world bothers me more than a woman looking stupid/willfully ignorant. It's one thing to disagree with me, I've met some very smart women who disagree with me on every possible issue and are able to express those sentiments in an intelligent manner. It is another thing to come off looking stupid and poorly informed/researched, especially if they think it's cute.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Horrifying discovery!
Robyn + updo + glasses= Sarah Palin.
Which of course resulted in my walking around trying to talk in that Fargo accent, which of course sounded exactly like an Irish brogue.
It could be useful as a halloween costume. Oh my god! Speaking of halloween costumes... I heard recently that last year, some dude copied my Sylvia Plath costume (with the oven on my head) that I did two years ago. Can I sue? I haven't decided what it's going to be this year. Jen thinks I should definitely do Sarah Palin and carry around a baby, a gun and a coathanger. I'm still trying to figure out how to do Frances Farmer without losing an eye from the icepick...
Which of course resulted in my walking around trying to talk in that Fargo accent, which of course sounded exactly like an Irish brogue.
It could be useful as a halloween costume. Oh my god! Speaking of halloween costumes... I heard recently that last year, some dude copied my Sylvia Plath costume (with the oven on my head) that I did two years ago. Can I sue? I haven't decided what it's going to be this year. Jen thinks I should definitely do Sarah Palin and carry around a baby, a gun and a coathanger. I'm still trying to figure out how to do Frances Farmer without losing an eye from the icepick...
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
It's just not the way to go...
Once upon a time, when I was a bit more active in my activism, I had a massive disillusionment. See, because I made the startling discovery that supposedly progressive men were just as likely to be sexist, misogynistic, and chauvinistic as other men. And quite honestly, a lot worse some of the time, because they thought they were somehow exempt from it because of their generally leftist beliefs. They'd brush off any accusations of sexism by stating that feminism was just an issue for "middle class white women."
This is what is going to get the Democrats in trouble- the whole thinking they're exempt thing. See, the Republicans were smart... I hate to say it, but it's true.
Sarah Palin wasn't selected because they thought that women who supported Clinton were going to turn around and vote for her just because she happens to be a woman. She was selected because the Republicans knew they'd go after her with the same sexist shit they used on Clinton, and that then they'd be able to turn it around and use it against them. Which, you know, is exactly what they're doing.
No one seems to be discussing her horrifying environmental policies, the fact that she's anti-choice, her ridiculous positions on health care... nope. They're too busy calling her a blow-up doll, critiquing her abilities as a mother, and making comments about her looks.
Instead of harping on the fact that she *has* an pregnant teenage daughter, why not, uh, mention the fact that she cut funding for pregnant teens? Wouldn't that make just a little bit more sense?
Obama's "lipstick on a pig" comment was just stupid. It was just stupid on any level. If he didn't mean it to refer to her (and quite honestly, I think he did, especially as it was followed up by the old fish in newspaper comment- which obviously referred to McCain. I'm just going to say it.), then both he and his staff are um, not thinking very clearly if they didn't think it would be interpreted that way. It was very dude-ish. It was very "I'm going to say something totally horrible to you and then act surprised when you're offended by it and swear to god you're taking it the wrong way." Every woman on earth knows that trick.
If the supposed Left were smart, they'd focus on the issues and stay away from the sexist shit, which, I promise you, is NOT GOING TO HELP. It's just not. Let them be the sexists! Let them be the assholes.
But, of course, no one ever listens to me. I'm just a woman.
This is what is going to get the Democrats in trouble- the whole thinking they're exempt thing. See, the Republicans were smart... I hate to say it, but it's true.
Sarah Palin wasn't selected because they thought that women who supported Clinton were going to turn around and vote for her just because she happens to be a woman. She was selected because the Republicans knew they'd go after her with the same sexist shit they used on Clinton, and that then they'd be able to turn it around and use it against them. Which, you know, is exactly what they're doing.
No one seems to be discussing her horrifying environmental policies, the fact that she's anti-choice, her ridiculous positions on health care... nope. They're too busy calling her a blow-up doll, critiquing her abilities as a mother, and making comments about her looks.
Instead of harping on the fact that she *has* an pregnant teenage daughter, why not, uh, mention the fact that she cut funding for pregnant teens? Wouldn't that make just a little bit more sense?
Obama's "lipstick on a pig" comment was just stupid. It was just stupid on any level. If he didn't mean it to refer to her (and quite honestly, I think he did, especially as it was followed up by the old fish in newspaper comment- which obviously referred to McCain. I'm just going to say it.), then both he and his staff are um, not thinking very clearly if they didn't think it would be interpreted that way. It was very dude-ish. It was very "I'm going to say something totally horrible to you and then act surprised when you're offended by it and swear to god you're taking it the wrong way." Every woman on earth knows that trick.
If the supposed Left were smart, they'd focus on the issues and stay away from the sexist shit, which, I promise you, is NOT GOING TO HELP. It's just not. Let them be the sexists! Let them be the assholes.
But, of course, no one ever listens to me. I'm just a woman.
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