Friday, August 31, 2007

morning constitutional

Our refrigerator is broken. I did all I could last week, including attempting to defrost it with a hair dryer, but to no avail. However, I like juice of some sort in the morning, and I also like that juice to not be room temperature. Call me crazy. So I go to the Jalisco.

On my way there, I notice that the 50 year old, um, pleasantly plump lady who usually wears the "I'm Bringin' Sexy Back!" T-shirt, is now sporting the somewhat less braggy "Flirtologist" T-shirt. She has not, however, discarded the hot pink booty shorts. I feel like she's living a lie. And if she isn't, I feel frightened. If she is indeed bringing sexy back, it was not just in hiding, but buried six feet under and will eat your brains if you try to hug it. Or maybe I just watch a lot of zombie movies.

Since my last incidents at the Jalisco, the owner has talked to the morning counter guy about the whole creepy pervert thing. Are you not updated? Well, he kept trying to hug me after purchases, asking me if I'd take him to New York with me and staring at my boobs while saying "you look verrrrrrry nice today. I like your shirt veeerrrrry veeerrrry much" You know, usual pervert stuff.

He also kept showing Jen and I pictures of some 18 year old blonde model and saying it was his girlfriend in New Jersey. Totally. So anyway, the owner talked to him and he doesn't pull too much of that anymore and just takes my money and gives me my stuff like a normal counter person. But today, while I'm there purchasing my vitamin water, he starts talking about the new product they have behind the counter... "pre-paid internet porn cards" with naked lady silhouettes on the front.
Oh yes.

"These are for...(insert creepy smile)...internet. You use them on the internet... You like one? (insert creepy smile again.)"
"I'm good with this, thanks"
"Are you sure? (creepy smile, wink wink)"
"Yup. I'm good. Have a nice day."

Ok, that's it. I guess it's rather anti-climatic, but hey, it was five minutes. It's not all that often that I get offered porn cards at 9am by the guy who works at the Jalisco. It's a new experience. Oh well.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

you returning to new york soon? i plan on coming to the roch the weekend of october 19. sorry about your experiences with creepy dudes -- they give a bad name to my gender.