It's just not the way to go...

Once upon a time, when I was a bit more active in my activism, I had a massive disillusionment. See, because I made the startling discovery that supposedly progressive men were just as likely to be sexist, misogynistic, and chauvinistic as other men. And quite honestly, a lot worse some of the time, because they thought they were somehow exempt from it because of their generally leftist beliefs. They'd brush off any accusations of sexism by stating that feminism was just an issue for "middle class white women."

This is what is going to get the Democrats in trouble- the whole thinking they're exempt thing. See, the Republicans were smart... I hate to say it, but it's true.

Sarah Palin wasn't selected because they thought that women who supported Clinton were going to turn around and vote for her just because she happens to be a woman. She was selected because the Republicans knew they'd go after her with the same sexist shit they used on Clinton, and that then they'd be able to turn it around and use it against them. Which, you know, is exactly what they're doing.

No one seems to be discussing her horrifying environmental policies, the fact that she's anti-choice, her ridiculous positions on health care... nope. They're too busy calling her a blow-up doll, critiquing her abilities as a mother, and making comments about her looks.

Instead of harping on the fact that she *has* an pregnant teenage daughter, why not, uh, mention the fact that she cut funding for pregnant teens? Wouldn't that make just a little bit more sense?

Obama's "lipstick on a pig" comment was just stupid. It was just stupid on any level. If he didn't mean it to refer to her (and quite honestly, I think he did, especially as it was followed up by the old fish in newspaper comment- which obviously referred to McCain. I'm just going to say it.), then both he and his staff are um, not thinking very clearly if they didn't think it would be interpreted that way. It was very dude-ish. It was very "I'm going to say something totally horrible to you and then act surprised when you're offended by it and swear to god you're taking it the wrong way." Every woman on earth knows that trick.

If the supposed Left were smart, they'd focus on the issues and stay away from the sexist shit, which, I promise you, is NOT GOING TO HELP. It's just not. Let them be the sexists! Let them be the assholes.

But, of course, no one ever listens to me. I'm just a woman.

Go suck a thumb, Walter Kirn

Walter Kirn is a man who wrote a semi-autobiographical novel called Thumbsucker. About a boy who sucks his thumb and has trouble with a girl who wants to screw around with him, but godforbid does not want to be his soulmate, and get married, and form a family band. What a total whore, right? Fuck her! If she had any sense she'd throw herself at his feet and thank him profusely for deigning to consider her worthy of his glorious affections. (I digress. Also, my boyfriend Vincent D'onofrio was in the movie... so I can't totally hate it)

He also wrote this charming article in Elle that made me want to shove his thumb in his ass and then into his eye, and hope that he not only goes blind, but also suffers from a terrible bacteria infection that eats his brain. I should preface this by saying that he also wrote another article for Elle about how "your boyfriend is lying to you about your body"- ie: he is actually absolutely disgusted by it and wants to vomit everytime he looks at you, especially if you have stretch marks anywhere!

They tend to go out on the town in pairs, I’ve noticed: the conventionally pretty one, all dolled up and shining, and her average-looking friend, who’s barely had time to do her hair. The pretty one, I have a hunch, is generally the instigator. With the plainer one by her side, she thinks she’ll look even more dazzling than usual. And the plainer one goes along with the idea because she wants to bask in her friend’s glow—or maybe because she just doesn’t get out
much. I don’t know. I do know, however, that when I spot them and manage to push in beside them at the bar, I often feel sorry for the pretty one.

Because she’s about to learn she’s not the pretty
one.

Yeah, you're totally going to ruin that girls day, aren't you Walter Kirn! You're going to punish her, and all the other women who thought they were too good for you! I'm sure all of her self esteem relies on soliciting your favor. I bet she'll go home and cry about it! (By the way, totally imagining that last sentence of his paragraph in the voice of movie preview announcer guy)

He goes on and on for pages extolling the virtues of homely chicks- but not really. Primarily, what he's harping on is his own awesome deepness, and ability to "see through" those totally stupid bitches with symmetrical features (yeah, apparently the whole symmetrical feature thing is a big deal for him). However, let me tell you- Walter Kirn is not deep. Walter Kirn is a) recently bitterly divorced from a model, and b) a puritanical douchebag.

First of all, buddy, I do not choose my friends based upon whether or not I look better standing next to them. I like them because they are hilarious, brilliant, ballsy chicks- who also happen to be super hot. Contrary to what you may believe, my entire life is not in fact devoted to reelin' me in a husband! I don't wear heels because I'm trying to impress the menfolk, I wear them because I like being taller than you. And because they go with my outfit, and I fucking happen to like shoes, k?

Homely people do not get a free pass on the good personality express. If you believe that, you have watched like, way too many teen movies, or your mom was blowing smoke up your ass to make you feel better. I have met more boring ugly people than I can shake a damn stick at. It's not that you like homely chicks, it's that you don't like women whom you suspect feel a little too good about themselves. Not taking care of oneself is often a sign of depression. Men like homely chicks for the same reasons they like short chicks- they want someone who appears kickable. They are insecure themselves and afraid of rejection, afraid of a woman with too much love for herself- because if she does love herself, she'll never be grateful enough for you, she'll never be afraid to leave your sorry ass. That's what you're afraid of, Walter Kirn.

Ok... haven't gotten into this one yet. I am so, so, so, so in favor of rejecting privilege. I have always believed that in order to eradicate all the -isms, those with the privilege must recognize it and reject it.

HOWEVER. Dude, my family did not own any businesses. They only got here like, last century, k? Oh- wait, I'm sorry- my relatives owned a bakery, and a TV store. In Providence! The only benefits I ever saw from that were like, in pastry form. I think my parents got a good deal on a TV that probably fell off the back of a truck- but I'm quite sure that's the extent of it. That's not to say that I don't benefit at all from white privilege, but still.

First of all... this guy is a Catholic. In case you didn't know, Catholics do not allow women on the pulpit- in addition to like, 20 million other retardly misogynistic rules they've got going on. I call bullshit on his whole rejecting privilege thing. Pots and kettles bitches.

This is the thing, though. Racism and sexism are both things that suck- equally. Neither is worse than the other, and if you even try to make that argument, you're going to end up sounding like an ass. If you are anti-racist, but totally sexist (which this guy clearly is)- you suck. If you are anti-sexism, but a giant racist, you also suck. Sure, Clinton has white privilege... but uh, Obama has male privilege. So they're about on equal ground. As this douche nozzle is a white male, he probably hasn't experienced the effects of institutionalized privilege first hand, and really, really needs to shut his damn mouth.

A movie? Really?

Ok... so it has come to my attention (maybe I'm slow on the uptake and this was a big deal or something) that the book "He's Just Not That Into You" has been made into a movie. Here, I present to you the trailer, which may make you want to stick things in your eye (Seriously. It involves Ben Affleck, Jennifer Aniston, Drew Barrymore and Scarlett Johannsen.)




Oh my god! Isn't it just hilarious how women are like, just so pathetic, and so desperate to find a man? Any man? And isn't it just so terrible that all these men are horrible douchebags who will step all over their fragile hearts if given the chance? Wow! I've never seen this movie before! I can't imagine how it might end! Ooh! And there's a Cure song in it! Won't someone please mend Scarlett's broken heart? Oh! Thank goodness there's a man around to tell them all the big scary truth!

This shit goes right up my ass. It just does. These women are totally imaginary- they're like, figments of some asshole dude's fantasy about how every chick on earth is secretly scheming to be his lawfully wedded wife. I do not personally know any human being this pathetic.

I don't know, the moral of this story seems to be the old adage... "When a person has the courage to tell you who they are, believe them." Which has never been difficult for me.