This is so great- I would totally marry Bob Odenkirk. For a while, Jen and I were like, obsessed with reading the Casual Encounters section on Craigslist, out of curiosity. Not curiosity about who we could recognize on there (although we totally did see one guy we knew, and it was hilarious, and I have not been able to look him in the eye since), or what people were into, but about how deluded they really were.
There is an element of hope in these ads. The hope that some hot ass lady will see it, and after seeing only a picture of your dick, and a couple of grammatically incorrect, poorly spelled sentences about how you need to stick it into something, hop on the bus and come over and do ya. And I really, really doubt that that is ever going to happen. But still, they keep hoping. Which is sad, but interesting nonetheless.
I don't know, I'm really into faces, so I just don't think I'd ever look at a picture of a dick and think "Wow! I'd sure like some of that!" I just wouldn't. I'm not hot for disembodied anything, really. Also, I think that would pretty much be the worst way to die, like, ever, if the guy turned out to be a serial killer. Imagine the news reports! "The Craigslist Strangler lured Miss Robyn to his apartment with a grainy picture of his dick with his gut hanging over it and a message reading:
"I;m looking for big butt princess.I love big women bigger better.DD free and clean"
This, by the way, was the first one on the list when I went over to go check it out. Sadly, there was no accompanying picture. But really- how embarrassing would that be? Imagine Nancy Grace interviewing your mom "So, was she really a 'big butt princess'?" And then your mom would have to say "No. You know, she was a bit hippy, but she never had much of an ass to speak of." And the the tickers across the bottom of the screen would read "Big Butt Princess Meets Tragic End." And then you'd have to die all over again.
Yup.
2 comments:
Holy crap Robyn that death scenario is one of the funniest things I've read in awhile.
Yay! Thank you!
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