Once upon a time, when I was a girl of 11 standing in the girl's room at school, my arch-nemesis, in a moment of magnamity, informed me that because I was "pretty," if I were to just tight roll my pants, wear Champion sweatshirts, and stop being peculiar, people would stop tormenting me and I could maybe even (gasp!) be popular.
I did not take her up on her offer. Why? For a lot of reasons, really. For one, I knew that there would always be something else. There would always be something I had to change about myself, or do like everyone else in order to "fit in." I didn't want to sign up for that.
For another, quite frankly, I thought the people who picked on me were assholes, and did not give a good goddamn whether or not they liked me. I truly didn't. It did not phase me in the least. I've never had the "I only want to belong to clubs that don't want me as a member" complex- if people don't like me, I merely assume they have poor taste, and why should I want to be around people with poor taste anyway? I have a lot more confidence and trust in people who like me than in those that do not. And I'm going to care about them, and have their backs, long before I start giving a shit about the people who don't.
Which is why I think bipartisanism is total bullshit. Obama removed birth control from the stimulus package... and yet, not a single Republican voted for it. BUT... it still passed- which means it would have still passed if the provision for birth control had been left in. What does this tell you?
Now, when Bush was in office, I never heard a damn word about anything in any bills being thrown in or thrown out to appease progressives. Not one. They did all they could to swing this country as close to facism as they could get it, and not once did I hear anything about "bipartisanship."
Obama... there are people in the world who just are not going to like you. It's not you, it's them. Nothing you can possibly do will change their minds, and if you scratch their backs, they will turn around and claw off your face. But guess what? You don't need them. Anyone whose ass you have to kiss in order to garner their approval will never really like you anyway. You make the people who already like you happy, and you've got people who will be loyal to you for life. You throw the people who already like you down the stairs to get attention from the popular kids, and eventually you've got no one.
2 comments:
It's a point. Maybe he's a fast learner.
I will say I don't see Obama as being like Bill Clinton--for all his noises about come let us reason together and so forth, I don't get the impression that he has the same character-level need to be liked. I could be wrong. I do think he's very cautious about putting his neck out if he thinks it'll bite him in the ass politically--too much so, arguably-- but it's not quite the same thing.
wish I'd learned that lesson earlier than I did, p.s. it's a good one; I wasn't that self-possessed as a sprog, alas.
I don't know- the thing that has worried me about Obama most of the time is that I get a "people pleaser" vibe from him that makes me uncomfortable. I honestly hope he surprises me- I was glad for the Lily Ledbetter bill, but I'm always going to be suspicious of politicians period.
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