Oh for chrissakes

Goth Cruise the Movie trailer - a 'Gothumentary' from jeanie finlay on Vimeo.

Hilarity will ensue, I'm sure... and you know I love me a documentary... and I was certainly fond of The Jenny Jones Show at one point in my life. However...

I find people with themes to be especially disconcerting. I mean, it's not like I think Goth "culture" is so especially avant garde or whatever- it's been around for pretty much forever- at least since I've been around. I just feel like, exhausted looking at them.

I've always been told, in highschool yearbook signings and various other mediums, that people "admire" me because I am always myself. Which, if I am going to be honest, is not necessarily true. There were periods, like in highschool, when I tried adopting various themes, tried out other personalities. It never lasted for very long, because, well, I have commitment issues... but it was always at times when I wasn't feeling especially at ease with myself. There are times when I can feel myself, in uncomfortable situations, becoming affected. And it really, really bothers me. So I guess seeing people putting all that effort into, you know, being something all the time- it reminds me of my feeling especially awkward and insecure.