A girl you can take home to meet your mother...

(Not a picture of Robyn. At all. For any reason.)

So, the other day, I watched the premiere of VH1's Tough Love (What can I say? I'm a masochist.)- and by the way, can I just tell you that the host dude sounds exactly like Scott Baio? Anyway, the "sad and pathetic" women did some challenge where they got makeovers and then went to some fake party to socialize with fake dudes. Then, after the challenge, the fake dudes critiqued them and talked about what they did right and what they did wrong. I'm not even kidding.

So, anyway, the girl that won the challenge won because some dude said "She's the kind of girl I could take home to meet my mother!" Which the host informed us all, was the single greatest compliment a man could give you.

Oh puke. Coco Chanel was a girl you couldn't introduce to your mother, and I would way rather be Coco Chanel than the lady on that show. Fact is, the type of girl described by men who say that sort of thing isn't the type of girl I'd ever want to be- and those are the kind of men I'd never hang around with anyway. They're always total sickos- trust me. Someone in that equation is an asshat, and it's not the girl you can't take home. But I digress.

After I thought about it for a while, I called my mom to thank her. Because that thought has just never occurred to me. My mother always says "In some families, people keep the crazy relatives in the attic. In our family we sit them right down at the dinner table and have a lovely chat." I am not accustomed to being ashamed of people.

She, of course, says "Oh, you think that's because I like everyone. Not true. I hate everyone. But I hate them equally." This is just her way. But the fact is, I'd never feel uncomfortable introducing anyone to her, because she really is awesomely accepting. It's not even a second thought with her, it's not like she's all "Hello! Look at what a tolerant person I am!" or anything- she just has this innate ability to find everyone interesting, and to bring out the best in people and make them feel important. She firmly believes that everyone has something to offer. She can sit and talk for hours with a good ol' boy from the South (mind you, she's an East Coast feminist and radical liberal), or with a heroin addict, or anyone else for that matter.

My friends have always LOVED my mother. Ever since I was a kid. I remember this one time, she volunteered to work at our school's Santa's Workshop- you know, where you go and get cheesy weird presents for your parents and siblings during school? Well, all these kids came up to me saying "Your mom is so cool! She taught me how to shoplift!"

I asked her about it when I came home, and she told me that the teacher had made the kids who didn't have money with them sit up against the wall, and they weren't allowed to walk around with the other kids who did have money. So, my mom walked up to the kids and announced that they were going to be in her group, and then walked them around and jokingly taught them how to shove things up their sleeves. They didn't ask her to volunteer again, but she wasn't too broken up about it.

I ALWAYS want people to meet my mother. Although, I'd have to say that the people generally thought of as the type others would introduce to their mother would be further down on her list of people she'd want to hang out with.